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Just like the Gym is for your body, Therapy is for your Mind
Dr. Sneha Sharma
Psychiatrist, Anvaya Healthcare

Is your child constantly asking for a phone, becoming extremely angry when you take it away, avoiding outdoor activities, or staying up late to use a screen? Excessive screen use can sometimes become a serious concern. Learn how to recognize problematic screen use, understand what may be driving it, and help your child develop a healthier relationship with technology.
“My child can’t stay without the phone.”, “The moment I take the mobile away, they start screaming or crying.”, “My child doesn’t want to play outside anymore.”, “They use the phone while eating, studying and even before sleeping.”
These are concerns many parents may have when their child’s screen use starts affecting everyday life. With smartphones, gaming, YouTube, social media and other digital entertainment becoming part of children’s daily routines, it can be difficult for parents to know where normal screen use ends and problematic use begins.
So, does every child who spends a lot of time on a phone have a “mobile addiction”? – No.
Using a phone frequently does not automatically mean that a child has an addiction or a mental health disorder. What matters is how much control the child has over the behaviour and whether screen use is interfering with sleep, school, relationships, physical activity, emotional wellbeing and everyday functioning. In this article, based on guidance discussed by Dr. Purva Agarwal, Clinical Psychologist at Anvaya Healthcare, we explore the warning signs, possible reasons behind excessive screen use, its potential impact on children and practical steps parents can take.
This is usually the first question parents ask. It is important to distinguish between:
WHO recognizes Gaming Disorder in ICD-11. It involves impaired control over gaming, increasing priority given to gaming over other activities, and continuing or escalating gaming despite negative consequences. The behaviour must also cause significant impairment in important areas of life. Therefore, parents should avoid diagnosing a child simply because they spend several hours on a device. Instead, ask:
Is the screen becoming more important than the child’s sleep, school, relationships, physical activity and other interests?
That question is often more useful than simply counting hours.
According to the concerns highlighted by Dr. Purva Agarwal, parents should pay attention when screen use is accompanied by significant behavioural or functional changes.
Some frustration when screen time ends can be normal. However, repeated and extreme reactions—such as intense screaming, prolonged emotional outbursts, aggression or destructive behaviour—deserve attention, especially when they happen regularly.
Does your child no longer want to:
When digital activities consistently replace previously enjoyable activities, it can be a warning sign.
Watch for:
Sleep should be treated as a priority when creating a family media routine.
A child may become unusually short-tempered or irritable, particularly when access to the device is restricted. However, irritability can have many causes, so it should not automatically be attributed to screen use.
For example, a child may:
If a child repeatedly lies about how long they have been gaming or using a phone, it may indicate that screen use has become difficult for them to regulate.
Pay attention if your child increasingly avoids:
Excessive sedentary screen use may be accompanied by issues such as:
These symptoms should also be discussed with an appropriate healthcare professional when persistent.
A noticeable change in:
can be an important signal—particularly when it occurs alongside other behavioural changes.
There is rarely one single reason. Sometimes the problem isn’t simply the phone. The phone may be meeting a need that isn’t being met somewhere else. Here are some common factors discussed in the video.
Games, short-form videos, notifications and social media provide frequent rewards and stimulation.
A child can immediately:
Real life works differently.
Homework requires effort.
Learning a skill requires practice.
Friendships require communication.
Sport requires persistence.
When digital activities provide constant stimulation, slower activities can sometimes feel less rewarding.
Sometimes the phone simply becomes the easiest solution to boredom. The child thinks:
“I’m bored. I’ll watch something.”
Over time, they may get fewer opportunities to learn how to tolerate boredom and create their own activities. Parents can help by allowing children some screen-free unstructured time rather than immediately solving boredom with a device.
This is one of the most important questions parents can ask. A child may use a phone or game to temporarily escape:
In these situations, simply taking away the phone may not solve the underlying problem. If the child is using the screen as an escape, understanding what they are escaping from is essential.
As children grow older, social influence becomes increasingly important. They may think:
Fear of missing out can make it difficult for children to disconnect.
Sometimes children don’t have enough accessible alternatives. If there is:
the phone can easily become the primary source of entertainment. This is why reducing screen time should not simply mean removing the screen. Parents also need to help create something meaningful to replace it.
The effects can vary significantly from one child to another. Research and public-health guidance support paying attention to sedentary behaviour, physical activity, sleep and overall functioning rather than assuming that every minute of screen use has the same effect. WHO recommends that children and adolescents limit sedentary time, particularly recreational screen time, and emphasizes regular physical activity.
Late-night screen use can interfere with healthy sleep routines. A child who stays up gaming, watching videos or using social media may:
The solution is not necessarily “no technology ever.” Instead, families can establish predictable screen-free periods before bedtime. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends considering screen-free zones such as the dinner table, homework time and before bed as part of a family media plan.
Children are exposed to highly stimulating digital environments. Constant switching between videos, games, notifications and other content can make slower activities such as reading or homework feel less engaging. However, difficulty concentrating should not automatically be blamed on screen use. If concentration problems are persistent, parents should consider other possibilities as well, including learning difficulties, anxiety, sleep problems or attention-related conditions.
Excessive or problematic digital use may coexist with:
Importantly, the relationship can work in both directions. A child experiencing anxiety, loneliness or low mood may turn to screens for relief. Increased screen use may then contribute to sleep disruption, isolation or reduced activity. This can create a cycle that becomes difficult to break.
Long periods spent sitting with a device can replace physical activity. WHO recommends that children and adolescents aged 5–17 get an average of at least 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity per day across the week and recommends limiting sedentary behaviour, particularly recreational screen time. The goal, therefore, isn’t simply to “take away the phone.” It is to make sure the child’s day also contains:
When screen use consistently replaces face-to-face interaction, children may have fewer opportunities to practise:
Again, the relationship is not always straightforward. Online interaction can also be socially meaningful for children. The key question is:
Is online activity complementing the child’s real-world relationships—or replacing them?
Social media can expose children and teenagers to carefully edited representations of other people’s lives. Constant comparison can contribute to concerns about:
Parents can help children understand that what they see online is often selective rather than a complete picture of someone’s life.
This is perhaps the most important message for parents. High screen time alone does not establish an addiction. WHO specifically notes that Gaming Disorder affects only a small proportion of people who engage in gaming. Instead of asking:
“How many hours does my child use the phone?”
also ask:
“What is happening to the rest of my child’s life?”
Look at:
Sleep + School + Relationships + Physical Activity + Mood + Hobbies + Family Life
If these areas remain healthy, the situation may be very different from a child whose gaming or screen use is causing significant impairment.
Professional assessment becomes particularly important when screen use is accompanied by serious changes in functioning or safety. Seek professional help if your child:
For example:
Statements such as wanting to die or hurt themselves should always be taken seriously. This is not simply a “screen-time problem” and requires prompt professional attention.
For example:
Such as:
For example:
Look for:
Especially if gaming continues late into the night and replaces sleep, food, school, relationships and other responsibilities.
The answer is usually not punishment, shouting or suddenly confiscating the phone. The goal is to help your child gradually develop healthier self-regulation.
Before talking to your child, ask yourself:
These emotions are understandable. But starting the conversation while angry can quickly turn it into a power struggle.
Avoid:
“You are always on your phone.”
“You don’t care about your studies.”
“You are ruining your life.”
Instead, try:
“We’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot more time on the phone recently. We also noticed that your sleep has changed. Is something bothering you?”
The objective is to understand before correcting.
Ask gentle questions:
You may discover that the screen is not the root problem. It may be a coping mechanism.
Instead of abruptly removing everything, create a realistic plan. For example:
Don’t immediately judge or change everything.
Understand:
Start with one or two predictable rules.
For example:
No phones during family dinner.
Possible areas include:
Gradually introduce additional boundaries based on what works for your family. The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly recommends creating family-specific media rules and screen-free zones, then revisiting the plan as children grow.
This is critical. If you remove a phone and leave a child with nothing meaningful to do, conflict is likely. Explore activities based on your child’s interests:
The goal is not to make childhood completely screen-free. The goal is to make real life rewarding too.
If your child is struggling to control screen use, becoming increasingly irritable, experiencing sleep or academic problems, or withdrawing from family and friends, professional guidance can help you understand what may be behind these changes.
Sometimes children don’t need another rule. They need connection. Try creating 20–30 minutes of undivided family time every day.
Put your own phone away.
Ask:
“How was your day?”
“What happened at school?”
“Tell me about your friend.”
“What was the best part of today?”
Children who feel genuinely connected to their parents may be more willing to cooperate with family boundaries.
Children need alternatives to reaching for a screen every time they experience an uncomfortable emotion.
Teach them that:
Boredom is normal.
Frustration is normal.
Sadness is normal.
Being uncomfortable doesn’t always need an immediate distraction.
Depending on the child’s age, useful strategies may include:
This is one of the most powerful things parents can do.
You cannot realistically tell your child:
“Stop using your phone.”
while checking your own phone continuously.
Try:
Children learn from what they see.
Don’t focus only on mistakes.
Notice progress.
For example:
“You had dinner without your phone today. I’m really proud of you.”
Or:
“You went outside and played today instead of spending the whole evening gaming. That was great.”
Positive reinforcement can help children feel successful rather than constantly criticised.
When limits are introduced, resistance is possible. Your child may say:
“I hate you!”
or
“Everyone else is allowed!”
Instead of entering an argument, acknowledge the emotion while maintaining the boundary:
“I understand that you’re upset. I know this isn’t easy. But this is the rule we’ve agreed on.”
The goal is:
Firm boundary + emotional support.
Not:
Punishment + fear.
Consider professional help when:
A mental health professional can help determine whether the primary issue is problematic screen use, Gaming Disorder, anxiety, depression, ADHD, family conflict, bullying, sleep problems—or a combination of factors.
The assessment matters because the treatment should address the underlying problem, not just the screen.
A psychologist can provide the child with a safe environment to talk about what is happening. Depending on the child’s needs, therapy may focus on:
Family-based work can also be valuable because screen-related conflict often affects the entire household. If anxiety, depression or another mental health condition is present, treatment should address that condition rather than treating screen use in isolation. In some cases, a psychiatrist may also be involved when a comprehensive mental health assessment indicates that psychiatric treatment is needed.
Your child’s phone use is not automatically a mental illness. At the same time, persistent and uncontrolled digital behaviour shouldn’t be ignored when it begins interfering with everyday life. The most useful approach is to look beyond the screen.
Ask:
What is my child doing on the device?
What does the device provide that they may be missing elsewhere?
What has changed in their sleep, mood, school, relationships and interests?
And most importantly:
What might my child be trying to cope with through the screen?
Instead of turning the issue into a daily battle, try to build a healthier relationship with technology through connection, consistent boundaries, meaningful alternatives and professional support when needed. WHO recommends limiting sedentary behaviour, particularly recreational screen time, while emphasizing physical activity and healthy daily routines for children and adolescents. The American Academy of Pediatrics likewise recommends developing a family-specific media plan, including appropriate screen-free zones and routines, and revisiting those rules as children grow.
If your child’s phone or gaming use is affecting their sleep, studies, relationships, mood, behaviour or family life, professional support can help you understand what is really happening. At Anvaya Healthcare, our mental health professionals can help children and parents understand problematic screen use and the emotional or behavioural factors that may be contributing to it. Depending on your needs, you can explore in-person or online mental health consultations with appropriate professionals. The goal isn’t simply to take the phone away.
The goal is to help your child build a healthier, more balanced childhood.
If you are worried about your child’s screen use, don’t wait until the problem becomes a major family conflict. Early support can make it easier to understand the underlying issue and build healthier habits.
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